Sequel Saturday - The Batman Franchise

Recently, an event occurred that inspired this week's Sequel Saturday. It was the 20th anniversary of the release of Tim Burton's 1989 Batman. So I decided to take a brief look at what succeeds and what fails in each of the Burton produced Batman films.

BATMAN (1989)

Made very much in Burton's already-established style is the dark and gothic Batman, featuring Michael Keaton in the titular role of the Caped Crusader.

Batman was arguably the first comic book movie made mainly for an adult audience. It was the first comic book movie given the then five years old PG-13 rating, which was quite controversial at the time. "What's the point of a Batman movie you can't take little kids to?" was the sentiment most people expressed. Also controversial was the casting of Michael Keaton, then known mainly for comedic roles like Mr. Mom and the Burton-directed horror comedy Beetlejuice.

It turns out that although this is a flawed adaptation, the casting was one of the things Burton got right. Keaton infused Bruce Wayne/Batman with a complexity and depth never present in the '60s TV show, which portrayed Batman as an almost comedic crime fighter, who spent as much time doing the "Batoosy" and monologuing as he did taking down criminals. And who can forget Jack Nicholson's iconic cackle as The Joker, the clowned prince of crime? Of course, this movie did give us a Joker that was more or less created by Batman, and, in the films biggest mis-step, a Batman that openly killed several criminals.

Ultimately, this movie succeeds because it takes itself seriously, and treats the character with the respect he deserves, never resorting to ridiculous devices like the always classic "Shark Repellent Bat-spray" featured in the Adam West movie that was a spin off to the TV show.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

Three years later, Burton continued his magna opera with the equally brooding Batman Returns, which was the first movie in the series to make the mistake of having too many villains. This outing featured both Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman (here, for some reason, given supernatural powers) and the overly made up Danny DeVito as the over-acted Penguin. One would assume that Burton was hoping to continue the success of re-inventing The Joker as a scarred sociopath by making the penguin some kind of strangely deformed man/bird hybrid. Also present is yet another villain, an evil CEO named Max Schreck, who was played by the terminally creepy Christopher Walken, who is wasted here.

The problem with so many villains is that there's a lot of exposition to get through just to define everyone's motives. Once that's done, there's very little time left over to actually explain the plot of the movie. One is left to wonder, "Where the hell did The Penguin get all this technology? And how does a guy who lives in a sewer and eat raw fish afford a seemingly endless supply of henchmen?"

But for all it's problems, Batman Returns works for the most part, thanks mainly to Keaton's return, and his inspired portrayal of the main character. Batman/Bruce Wayne continues to be an intriguing protagonist, struggling to distinguish between which of his personalities is real, and which is the disguise.

BATMAN FOREVER (1995)

Oh, where to begin.

First of all, director Joel Schumacher began his two-movie attempt to throw out all of Burton's hard work at making the character respectable with Batman Forever. Val Kilmer was well-cast, but poorly directed, and ultimately not given much to do by the writers, who instead chose to focus most of their energy on (once again) too many villains, with ANOTHER hero thrown in the mix as well. Terribly cast was Chris O'Donnell as Robin, who seemed to think squinting and raising the volume of his voice was the same as showing emotion.

With another three origin stories going on, Batman kind of falls by the wayside. Gone is Keaton's attempts to disguise his voice to throw people off when trying to determine his actual identity. It's as if Schumacher just stood off camera, yelling at Kilmer "Do it darker! It's a Batman movie!" The result is that Kilmer does a fine job as Batman, but there's no distinction between that character and Bruce Wayne. He may as well have walked around the whole movie in that rubber suit.

And the villains... Oh, the villains. Hoping to capitalize on the projected success of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber, which were all released the same year, Schumacher cast Jim Carrey as The Riddler, and then proceeded to seemingly let him do whatever the hell he wanted. Also shoe-horned in was Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face (whose fascinating and heartbreaking transformation into a criminal is glossed over as a retrospective news report), for some reason replacing Bill Dee Williams. Don't get me wrong, Tommy Lee Jones is a fantastic actor, as long as he's not competing with an actor who is bouncing around like a terrier hopped up on cocaine. Carrey's manic performance seemed to cause Jones to over-act in response, fighting to not be overshadowed.

Oh, and there's a shot of Batman and Robin's butts as they put on their suits, for some reason.

Despite it's numerous problems and silly title, Batman Forever is still an entertaining movie, in the same way watching your favorite fighter get his ass handed to him can still be an entertaining fight.

Batman & Robin (1997)

Ah, and now we have arrived at Joel Shumacher's cinematic crime that should have landed him in some sort of director's jail, unable to work on anything of merit ever again: Batman & Robin. Where to begin?

First of all George Clooney: Again, like Val Kilmer before him, not miscast so much as woefully misdirected. This time out, it seems as though Shumacher was busy elsewhere and left Clooney to his own devices. "I'm not doing that stupid voice," he seems to say, causing him to have the opposite problem Kilmer had. He is reduced to a series of gags, and plays the clumsy, jokey Bruce Wayne throughout the movie, never exploring the deeper and darker character of Batman.

Chris O'Donnell: Again, standing in front of a camera and talking while flexing almost non existent muscles is not the same as acting. Either lift some weights or take some acting lessons, but you have no excuse for having both a flabby, undefined physique and a blank look on your face all the time.

Alicia Silverstone: See above. Get in shape or learn how to act, but pick at least one. Your portrayal of Barbara Gor- I mean Wilson (wtf, writers?) as a chubby, spoiled brat was annoying at it's best, and a travesty against the character at it's worst.

To whoever cast Arnold Schwarzenneger as Mr. Freeze: What the hell is wrong with you? Why not cast Arnold as Bane (a frighteningly strong and even more frighteningly genius villain in the comic books, here reduced to a mute psycho with 'roid rage), and cast the always fabulous, classically trained Patrick Stewart as Mr. Freeze, who in the comic books is a tortured genius, not an "Olympic decathlete turned scientist?" Instead, what we get is a lumbering, hard to understand, neon lit muscle head who says things like "Ice to see you," and "In the universe there is one absolute... everything freezes!"

Uma Thurman was passable as Poison Ivy, I guess, but I've never found her attractive and I've never been a huge fan of the character. They could have made her far more interesting by giving her some form of motivation beyond "Men are evil: Girl Power!" But, sadly, they did not.

One final note, to the set designers: How much do you spend on crack a year? I mean, what city planner in his right mind would design an observatory that is only accessible by driving up the arm of a giant statue of a man holding a globe? Are you that mentally retarded that something like that would make sense in your tiny brains?

This movie, from beginning (sky surfing with no parachutes) to end (Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy being put in the same cell), makes no sense. Thankfully, Chris Nolan has proven that just because there are aspects of comic books that require a suspension of disbelief doesn't mean you have to put Batman, who is constantly being shot at and hanging out in darkness, in a Batmobile with an open canopy that puts off more neon light than a gay night club.

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention: NIPPLES ON THE EFFING BATSUIT.