Sequel Saturday - The Batman Franchise

Recently, an event occurred that inspired this week's Sequel Saturday. It was the 20th anniversary of the release of Tim Burton's 1989 Batman. So I decided to take a brief look at what succeeds and what fails in each of the Burton produced Batman films.

BATMAN (1989)

Made very much in Burton's already-established style is the dark and gothic Batman, featuring Michael Keaton in the titular role of the Caped Crusader.

Batman was arguably the first comic book movie made mainly for an adult audience. It was the first comic book movie given the then five years old PG-13 rating, which was quite controversial at the time. "What's the point of a Batman movie you can't take little kids to?" was the sentiment most people expressed. Also controversial was the casting of Michael Keaton, then known mainly for comedic roles like Mr. Mom and the Burton-directed horror comedy Beetlejuice.

It turns out that although this is a flawed adaptation, the casting was one of the things Burton got right. Keaton infused Bruce Wayne/Batman with a complexity and depth never present in the '60s TV show, which portrayed Batman as an almost comedic crime fighter, who spent as much time doing the "Batoosy" and monologuing as he did taking down criminals. And who can forget Jack Nicholson's iconic cackle as The Joker, the clowned prince of crime? Of course, this movie did give us a Joker that was more or less created by Batman, and, in the films biggest mis-step, a Batman that openly killed several criminals.

Ultimately, this movie succeeds because it takes itself seriously, and treats the character with the respect he deserves, never resorting to ridiculous devices like the always classic "Shark Repellent Bat-spray" featured in the Adam West movie that was a spin off to the TV show.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

Three years later, Burton continued his magna opera with the equally brooding Batman Returns, which was the first movie in the series to make the mistake of having too many villains. This outing featured both Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman (here, for some reason, given supernatural powers) and the overly made up Danny DeVito as the over-acted Penguin. One would assume that Burton was hoping to continue the success of re-inventing The Joker as a scarred sociopath by making the penguin some kind of strangely deformed man/bird hybrid. Also present is yet another villain, an evil CEO named Max Schreck, who was played by the terminally creepy Christopher Walken, who is wasted here.

The problem with so many villains is that there's a lot of exposition to get through just to define everyone's motives. Once that's done, there's very little time left over to actually explain the plot of the movie. One is left to wonder, "Where the hell did The Penguin get all this technology? And how does a guy who lives in a sewer and eat raw fish afford a seemingly endless supply of henchmen?"

But for all it's problems, Batman Returns works for the most part, thanks mainly to Keaton's return, and his inspired portrayal of the main character. Batman/Bruce Wayne continues to be an intriguing protagonist, struggling to distinguish between which of his personalities is real, and which is the disguise.

BATMAN FOREVER (1995)

Oh, where to begin.

First of all, director Joel Schumacher began his two-movie attempt to throw out all of Burton's hard work at making the character respectable with Batman Forever. Val Kilmer was well-cast, but poorly directed, and ultimately not given much to do by the writers, who instead chose to focus most of their energy on (once again) too many villains, with ANOTHER hero thrown in the mix as well. Terribly cast was Chris O'Donnell as Robin, who seemed to think squinting and raising the volume of his voice was the same as showing emotion.

With another three origin stories going on, Batman kind of falls by the wayside. Gone is Keaton's attempts to disguise his voice to throw people off when trying to determine his actual identity. It's as if Schumacher just stood off camera, yelling at Kilmer "Do it darker! It's a Batman movie!" The result is that Kilmer does a fine job as Batman, but there's no distinction between that character and Bruce Wayne. He may as well have walked around the whole movie in that rubber suit.

And the villains... Oh, the villains. Hoping to capitalize on the projected success of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber, which were all released the same year, Schumacher cast Jim Carrey as The Riddler, and then proceeded to seemingly let him do whatever the hell he wanted. Also shoe-horned in was Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face (whose fascinating and heartbreaking transformation into a criminal is glossed over as a retrospective news report), for some reason replacing Bill Dee Williams. Don't get me wrong, Tommy Lee Jones is a fantastic actor, as long as he's not competing with an actor who is bouncing around like a terrier hopped up on cocaine. Carrey's manic performance seemed to cause Jones to over-act in response, fighting to not be overshadowed.

Oh, and there's a shot of Batman and Robin's butts as they put on their suits, for some reason.

Despite it's numerous problems and silly title, Batman Forever is still an entertaining movie, in the same way watching your favorite fighter get his ass handed to him can still be an entertaining fight.

Batman & Robin (1997)

Ah, and now we have arrived at Joel Shumacher's cinematic crime that should have landed him in some sort of director's jail, unable to work on anything of merit ever again: Batman & Robin. Where to begin?

First of all George Clooney: Again, like Val Kilmer before him, not miscast so much as woefully misdirected. This time out, it seems as though Shumacher was busy elsewhere and left Clooney to his own devices. "I'm not doing that stupid voice," he seems to say, causing him to have the opposite problem Kilmer had. He is reduced to a series of gags, and plays the clumsy, jokey Bruce Wayne throughout the movie, never exploring the deeper and darker character of Batman.

Chris O'Donnell: Again, standing in front of a camera and talking while flexing almost non existent muscles is not the same as acting. Either lift some weights or take some acting lessons, but you have no excuse for having both a flabby, undefined physique and a blank look on your face all the time.

Alicia Silverstone: See above. Get in shape or learn how to act, but pick at least one. Your portrayal of Barbara Gor- I mean Wilson (wtf, writers?) as a chubby, spoiled brat was annoying at it's best, and a travesty against the character at it's worst.

To whoever cast Arnold Schwarzenneger as Mr. Freeze: What the hell is wrong with you? Why not cast Arnold as Bane (a frighteningly strong and even more frighteningly genius villain in the comic books, here reduced to a mute psycho with 'roid rage), and cast the always fabulous, classically trained Patrick Stewart as Mr. Freeze, who in the comic books is a tortured genius, not an "Olympic decathlete turned scientist?" Instead, what we get is a lumbering, hard to understand, neon lit muscle head who says things like "Ice to see you," and "In the universe there is one absolute... everything freezes!"

Uma Thurman was passable as Poison Ivy, I guess, but I've never found her attractive and I've never been a huge fan of the character. They could have made her far more interesting by giving her some form of motivation beyond "Men are evil: Girl Power!" But, sadly, they did not.

One final note, to the set designers: How much do you spend on crack a year? I mean, what city planner in his right mind would design an observatory that is only accessible by driving up the arm of a giant statue of a man holding a globe? Are you that mentally retarded that something like that would make sense in your tiny brains?

This movie, from beginning (sky surfing with no parachutes) to end (Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy being put in the same cell), makes no sense. Thankfully, Chris Nolan has proven that just because there are aspects of comic books that require a suspension of disbelief doesn't mean you have to put Batman, who is constantly being shot at and hanging out in darkness, in a Batmobile with an open canopy that puts off more neon light than a gay night club.

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention: NIPPLES ON THE EFFING BATSUIT.

DVD Review - Redbelt

Today's review is of a recent movie, Redbelt. Written and directed by real-life martial arts enthusiast David Mamet, Redbelt is the story of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner and instructor Mike Terry, played expertly by the impossible to pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor. Terry is one of the few men left in the fight field to actually value true honor. "Competition is weakening," he says, because "any one fight can be fixed." When asked if he trains people to fight, he responds "...I train people to prevail." Competition, in Terry's mind, weakens the fighter, because "a competition is not a fight."

Unfortunately, honor doesn't always equal cash flow. His school is failing, as his wife points out to him: "...what about the fighter's family, Mike? What do they eat, while he's being so pure?"

An opportunity soon presents itself in the form of Chet Franklin (Tim Allen), and aging action star Mike saves in a bar fight. To repay the favor, Franklin invites Terry to be a producer and advisor on his latest war movie. Unfortunately for Mike, things don't go exactly according to plan, and he ends up finding himself in the position he swore he'd never sink to, fighting for money.

Honor is the main theme that runs throughout the film. Both the positive and negative effects of having true honor are explored, especially in the tragic side plot of Joe Collins (king of bad-ass Max Martini), a police officer Mike is training. Terry instills "the code of the warrior" into every fighter he trains. The result is Mike acts as a sort of Samurai. He's a lone warrior sticking to a code of conduct while everyone else works for the highest bidder. It's definitely a lonely world he lives in, with even his brothers-in-law willing to fix fights and disgrace their father, who holds the only titular red belt, a level of honor reserved for the founding father of the art.

Being a Mamet movie, the plot is full of unexpected twists and turns, and the dialogue is superb. Regrettably, it is also difficult to hear. Not helping the matter is the fact that for some reason, the DVD doesn't include subtitles. This isn't the kind of movie you can put on and then do some laundry, or clean the kitchen. If all you pay attention to is the expertly shot and edited fight scenes, as good as they are, you've missed the best parts of the movie. I would recommend putting it on only when you have the time to sit in front of the TV with no distractions for 100 minutes.

Another downfall is that the film drags a little in the middle. Don't get me wrong, the dialogue is still excellent and there isn't a single weak performance in the movie (even Allen shines in his smallish role), but sometimes there's a little too much of people standing around talking when less words could have gotten the same point across.

It's all worth it once you get to the payoff final fight scene, though. It's extremely fascinating to watch two jiu-jitsu masters going at it full bore, no holds barred. Though not considered the most exciting of the martial arts, jiu-jitsu is definitely one of the more interesting.

Watch for a cameo by former UFC champion and soon to be action star Randy Couture as (surprisingly enough) a former fighter turned commentator.
Grade: 8
(All movies are graded on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being cinematic perfection, and 1 being the majority of movies that feature a crime-fighting or mischievous monkey.)

Classic Review - Princess Bride

By popular demand, today's review is of another classic movie, The Princess Bride.

Directed by Rob Reiner, and written by William Goldman, adapted from his novel of the same name, The Princess Bride is a twist on the token fairy tale. The main narrative of the movie is actually presented as a story within a story. Bookending the tale, and interspersed throughout, is a grandfather (the great Peter Falk) reading the book to his young grandson (Fred Savage) who is recovering from a particularly bad bout of pnemonia. The boy is disinterested at first, but as the story goes on, he finds it more and more fascinating.

The story itself begins with simple farm boy Westley (the always underused Carey Elwes) who finds himself hopelessly in love with Buttercup, the girl whom he serves (pre-Penn Robin Wright). Eventually, she discovers that she loves him as well. Westley sets off to make the fortune that will allow him and Buttercup to marry and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, Buttercup soon receives word that the ship on which Westley was traveling was besieged by The Dread Pirate Roberts, a viscious and merciless buccaneer who is known for leaving no prisoners.

Heartbroken, Buttercup accepts a marriage proposal (more like demand) from Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon), next in line for the throne of Florin. Before the wedding, she finds herself kidnapped by three mercenaries, intent on starting a war between Florin and the neighboring Guilder. Unexpectedly, they find themselves being pursued by a mysterious man in black who, after defeating each of the men in their strongest element (one by sword, one by strength, and one by trickery), reveals himself to be non other than Roberts himself.

I don't want to go any further into the plot, for fear of revealing some of the it's most intriguing twists, but all the loose ends are tied up by the time the movie is finished. Clocking in at a brisk 98 minutes, the movie manages to pack in action, romance, intrigue, espionage, and quite a few laugh out loud moments, thanks mostly to the superb comedic timing of Elwes and Mandy Patinkin as the world's (second) greatest swordsman Inigo Montoya. Also notable in the cast is Christopher Guest as the sadistic Count Rugen and the ever-comical Wallace Shawn as the mercenary leader Vizzini.

If you couldn't tell by the ridiculous names, Goldman intended the story to be one told to children, as evidenced by the "real world" story featuring Falk and Savage. However, there is enough humor to keep adults more than entertained throughout. Despite some lackluster effects and an overly synthesized score by Dire Straits' Mark Knopfler, this is a strong movie that breaks many of the standard fairy tale conventions while still managing to have a happy ending. The movie's strongest message is simply "love conquers all," including death, a lesson we learn at least twice throughout the course of this fantastic yarn. Oh, and never cross a Spanish sword-maker's son. That's also very important.

All in all, this is one of the few movies with gags that will still make me laugh as hard on my 200th viewing as they did on my first. This is the kind of movie I hope to one day share with my children, both as entertainment and as a shining example of the artwork that is film-making.
Grade: 9
(All movies are graded on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being cinematic perfection, and 1 being Mystery Science Theater-worthy.)

Classic Review - Tombstone

Today's review is another of my all-time favorite movies: Tombstone.

Written by Kevin Jarre and directed by George P. Cosmatos (although the rumor is it was ghost-directed by Russell himself), Tombstone tells the story of the Earp brothers - Wyatt (Kurt Russell), Virgil (Sam Elliott), and Morgan (Bill Paxton) - and their attempts to settle down in the mining town of Tombstone, Arizona after a life-time of rough riding and gun slinging, on both sides of the law. They are joined by Wyatt's old friend Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer, criminally overlooked for a best supporting actor nod).

Unfortunately, as so often happens in movies and in real life, things take a turn for the worse. It turns out the town is under siege by a gang calling themselves the "Cowboys." After the kindly town Marshall is killed by the gang's leader, Curly Bill Brocius (a scenery-chewing Powers Boothe), and the local judge fails to convict Curly Bill, Virgil decides to restore some much needed law and order by having himself sworn in as a replacement. With his younger brother Morgan deputized, Virgil begins passing laws that the Cowboys find offensive. After breaking up a drunken brawl between one of the cowboys and Doc, Virgil finds himself on the wrong side of a Cowboy vendetta. Events escalate and lead up to Wyatt breaking his oath to himself to stay out of any trouble and becoming a Deputy Marshall himself.

What happens next is probably the best known gunfight in history: a showdown between the Earps and Doc Holiday, and a few of the Cowboys known as "The gunfight at the OK corral." However, this is only the first half of this epic western masterpiece. What follows is Wyatt's charge against the Cowboys, arguably less well known but much more impressive than the one gunfight. Russell is superb as the world-weary once and future lawman, conveying both an uncertainty in his every day life and a decisiveness in action that bring depth to what could have been a very one-dimensional character. Also excellent is the perpetually underrated Michael Biehn as Johnny Ringo, second-in-command of the Cowboys, and the second fastest gunslinger in the west.

The major theme running throughout the movie is fate. It begs the question, are certain people born to do certain things? Were the Earps born to be lawmen, destined to move from place to place, cleaning out towns full of thieves and murderers?

And what is Doc's place in the world? He seems to care about nothing but drinking and gambling, even going so far as to continue both, while chain smoking, despite his terminal tuberculosis. But as soon as Wyatt and his brothers get themselves into trouble, Doc is there to pick up the slack, fighting along side them, guns blazing.

While the questions are never fully answered, it would seem as though this was these men's lot in life. Virgil in particular seems burdened with a heavy conscience, as though he, in his inaction, is as responsible for the crimes committed by the Cowboys as Ringo and Brocius.

All-in-all, this extremely well written, amazingly acted, and expertly paced film deserves a spot on any movie-lover's shelf. I would highly recommend it to any action or western movie fan.
Grade: 10
(All movies are graded on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being cinematic perfection, and 1 being anything Jean-Claude Van Damme has crapped out on DVD in the past ten years.)

Classic Review - Back to the Future

I've decided to start my blog with a review of what is probably my favorite movie of all time: Back to the Future
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Back to the Future, directed by Bob Zemeckis and co-written by Zemeckis and Bob Gale, was released on July 3 of 1985. Even though I was only 3 at the time, I can't ever remember BTTF not being a part of my life. From the betamax copy my parents owned that we would watch as a family on a TV the size of a Smart Car, to the collector's DVD set that now sits on my shelf, this movie feels like it's as much a part of me as any of the houses in which I've lived or the friends I've made. Through thick and thin, Marty, Doc Brown, and that souped-up DeLorean have always been there to wow me with special effects (when I was younger) or cheer me up with a few laughs (once I was old enough to get all the jokes). Watching the movie again recently, I found that it wasn't just nostalgia that kept bringing me back, Back to the Future is actually a damn fine movie.

For those of you who have been living in a cave for the last 24 years, Back to the Future is about a boy named Marty (Michael J. Fox) and his car. The car happens to be a time machine invented by a scientist friend of Marty's named Doctor Emmett L. Brown (Christopher Lloyd, in a role deserving a best supporting actor nomination). Through a series of bizarre circumstances, Marty ends up in 1955, on the path to erasing his existence by causing his mother (Lea Thompson) to fall in love with him, instead of his father (Crispin Glover).

But that's just the surface. What it's "really about," as they say in the movie business, is how who our parents were when they were our age dictates what kind of person we will grow up to be. See, Marty finds out his father was insecure and nerdy, causing Marty later in life to exhibit those same characteristics no matter how hard he tries to be different. "What if I'm no good? What if they say 'get outta here, kid, you've got no talent.' I don't know if I can take that kind of rejection," Marty tells his girlfriend Jennifer after he and his band suffer a particularly disasterous audition. Through his travels, Marty finds his father uttering the exact same sentiments in 1955 in regards to his previously secret science fiction writings. What Marty doesn't know until he takes this strange journey is that his parents were actually a lot like him, and probably know more about what he's going through than he ever realized.

The underlying theme to all three BttF movies is that while history repeats itself, it's never too late to chart another course for your life. The mistakes you've made can form you into the person you will become just as much, if not more so, than your successes.

Of course, being produced by Steven Spielberg, the movie is also about kick-ass effects (for 1985) and hilarity. Certain lines are still funny enough that I find myself having to pause the DVD to give myself time to laugh, lest I miss another joke or gag.

The next time you're sitting at home, bored, and you need something to pass the time, you can do a lot worse than Back to the Future. If you haven't seen it in a while, I can assure you: it still holds up. Give it a shot.

Grade: 10

(All movies are graded on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being cinematic perfection, and 1 being most Julia Roberts movies)